Picked up my paycheck today. Not only did I work the full eighty hours this time, I got overtime too (Mr. Manager? I thought you said this wouldn't be a problem? XD).

So it was rather... disappointing to see what the numbers added up to.

Me: (last week) Well, I only worked seventy hours this time, so my next paycheck should be much higher! When I've actually worked all of my hours! ^_^

Me: (today) (compares paycheck) So... let me get this straight. I worked like eleven more hours than I did in the last pay period... and I only end up with like fifty more dollars than what I had last time? O.o ...That sucks.

>.< Stupid taxes.

Of my pathetic four hundred and seventy two dollars, I spent one hundred fifty on groceries today. Didn't even have time for clothes, which I desperately need for work. I'm finding holes in the jeans I like to wear. Also, toilet bowl cleaner spilled on my shirt today and turned it brown, so I think it'd be a good idea to get more shirts (even though a manager was nice enough to replace it for me). I figure by the time I'm done paying for those and sending my mom money for the net bill, I'll have enough money to keep buying myself some lunch everyday until the next paycheck comes.

(sigh) This is one thing I definitely do not like about living on my own. I don't enjoy worrying over bills and money and stuff. I like getting myself a little DVD now and then, but I don't particularily enjoy spending money. When I'd get some, I was usually able to make it last awhile. So if I didn't have to worry about all of the necessities of living, I'd probably have like a thousand dollars by now. Or close to it.

(wants moniez back)

And this isn't the only thing I have to worry about. My mom left an answer for me on the phone saying that the doctor who saw me a month ago would like to schedule another appointment. And while I'd love to do this, I'm worried what will happen if I have to pay anything. We didn't last time, but I don't know if we would now. I don't think I could afford it.

However, the wise decision would be to go while I still have insurance. That runs out in like five months, and then I know I'll have to pay for any future medical visits. Also, when I got home tonight, I discovered I'm bleeding again, and not just on the tissue paper this time. So I guess I don't really have any other option but to go back.

I wish money wasn't so important. I don't like worrying about it like this.

But this just reinforces why I so badly need to have a job that pays me as much as I'm getting now. I'd be screwed if I made any less, I think.

I can do this. I mean, it seems to get easier the more I do, besides the abundance of new bruises I'm finding, as well as the given aches and pains of performing the job. My feet don't hurt quite as badly any more, and I'm pretty damn sure I've lost weight (which is certainly a plus ^_^). My co-workers can be assholes at times, but they're entertaining and helpful the other half of the time, so it balances.

It's just a bit stressful. I don't like that I have to work myself like crazy just to stay alive, you know? And I don't get to see anyone anymore, so it gets really lonely. I'd love to call someone, but everyone sleeps when I'm awake and vice versa. So it's always just me now. And I'm afraid I don't have many answers to any of my questions.

(grabs blanket) I'm going to bed and sleeping in tomorrow. Sleeping is something I still like.

Here's a meme I stole from half_elven.

The problem with LJ: we all think we are so close, but really, we know nothing about each other.

So I want you to ask me something you think you should know about me. Something that should be obvious, but you have no idea about.

Ask away.

Then post this in your LJ and find out what people don't know about you!

Firstly, I'd like to thank everyone for their kind comments on my last entry. They went a long way in cheering me up. I was feeling really down last night and just felt about as worthwhile as a puddle of vomit on the floor. So yeah... Thanks, guys. (hugs) It means a lot to me when you guys support me like that. :)

So now I have some good news and bad news. To start with the bad really quick, I'm bleeding more than before and actually found blood in my stool today. >.< Not good. Doctor appointment is soon though, so I'm trying not to get worried.

Now for the great news. This morning I was awakened prematurely to the phone ringing. I'm really glad it was in my room and not in the living room, otherwise I probably wouldn't have bothered getting up to answer it. But, since it was in my room, I made myself roll over to check the caller ID.

It said Wal*Mart.

That woke me right up. I answered the phone and a woman, once confirming it was me, asked if I was still interested in working there. You can guess my response. :D

She asked if I could come in for an interview tomorrow at nine in the morning and I agreed. I was so excited I couldn't go back to sleep. About an hour later though, I suddenly remembered that I've applied at two separate stores. I'm glad I went back and checked the number, because the store that's asking for me is the one up where my grandma lives.

That's like, a little over an hour away. So damn, I would have had to wake up early!

And yes, I am speaking in the past tense. The woman called me back later and apologized- she'd forgotten that tomorrow starts the holiday weekend so some people, including the interviewer, wouldn't be there. So we rescheduled for Tuesday at the same time. This at least gives me time to prepare, though.

I really hope I get this job. It's nice to at least be hearing something from them, though! Don't feel so ignored now. Kinda funny though- I apply to my local store like every month and then a few weeks ago I randomly decided to send an application to the other one. And what do ya know? Victory!

Another note- the lady on the phone seemed so much nicer than the people I talk to when I bug the store down the street for an update on my application. She was very polite and it was a friendly exchange. Encourages me muchly. ^_^

Gah. Got a headache.

I've finished two pages of Cork today. Yay me. >.< 

Don't worry, I'm still working on it. Tomorrow I will, especially. I'm making it like my day off, of sorts. Er, besides chores.  (sigh) Still gotta do those. 

My diverticulitis is really acting up at the moment. Jeez, I feel so old when I say that. >.< But it is. Really hurts to go to the bathroom right now.

My stepdad made me oatmeal and that helped some. Was the only kind act I think I received today. While trying to relax, my mom suddenly comes into my room and informs me I'm buying pizza. 

And yes, I shall clariy for you. I was not asked if I could buy the pizza, nor if I minded chipping in. I was told I was buying it.

Seriously, did everyone in my family decided to be an asshole to me this month? Because it sure feels like it.

Well, they can make me go camping, but I wasn't about to let them make me give up my money when I have so little of it. And when they could obviously pay or it themselves, which they did. 

I was actually told that if I didn't pay for it, I couldn't have dinner. That makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. I did eat some pizza anyways, inorming my mother when I took it that since I'm not getting paid for the chores, I'll eat their pizza if I want to. Went to my room and oddly didn't hear a complaint. Then again, my stepdad wasn't home at the time, so that likely helped. >.>

I'm hoping I hear back from that burger joint soon. Or anywhere I've applied. I need money badly. Now my parents are telling me that if I don't get my act together, I'm moving with them whether I like it or not. And despite knowing they technically can't do that, I wouldn't be surprised if it happens anyways. Nevertheless, I'm going to fight it. I can't live with them anymore.

Ugh. These pills taste absolutely horrible. Even if I wash them down with juice and don't let them touch my tongue, they leave this god-awful after taste in my throat as they go down. (does not like)

I think the pain killer one is working though. My stomach doesn't hurt as much anymore. I suppose it makes withstanding the taste worth it. XD

Comics make everything all better though. I ordred the new Tales of the TMNT comic and got it today. I've apparently become a good enough customer that the guys I buy them from sent me a free Iron Man one. Hyess! ^_^

More good new: My Casey Audition is done and posted! Yay for me! (does a little dance)

Now here's hoping it doesn't suck. ^_^;

(moves on to next writing challenge)

All righty then.

So I went for my appointment today. A nice nurse took all my stats and then showed me to a room to wait for the doctor. I liked the room- it was quite nice. The walls were a soft yellow, which if I remember correctly is a color used to promote positivity and warmth. Nice choice for a clinic, I think. There was pretty abstract painting on the wall which I liked as well.

While I was waiting, the nurse came back and said I needed to put on a gown. I figured this was going to happen, but you know. No avoiding it if I wanted answers, right? 

After I was dressed, it wasn't much of a wait until the doctor saw me. He confirmed some things, asked me a few questions, and checked out my stomach to find out what hurts where. Then told me he'd need to do a rectal exam. After getting the female nurse to come back into the room, he proceeded. I'm not going to lie- it was uncomfortable. It didn't last much longer than a minute or two though, which I was quite thankful for. And I got over the embarassment quickly enough... I mean, it's the guys job to do this. So it's no big deal to him, right? I'm sure he's seen larger people than me, anyways. Once I thought of that, it was much easier.

They did some tests, and another guy came in to draw my blood. There's a possibility I may be anemic, so they're looking into that. Not sure when the results are done there.

In the mean time, the doctor gave me his diagnosis. It appears that I have an older person illness. >.< Diverticulitis. He prescribed me three kinds of pills today. The first is taken twice daily, the second thrice a day, and the last four times a day. They're also going to refer me to gastroenterology. It's probable that I'll have to get a colonoscopy to make sure I don't have colon cancer. 

Damn. This is old people stuff. >.<

On top of this, I have a new diet. And I have to drink lots of fluids. Speaking of this, one of those pills requires that I drink a full glass of water when I take it. Grargh. I know water's good for you, but I've never been much of a drinker, no matter what I'm drinking.

But yeah. So that's the update on me. At least now I finally know what was wrong!