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Pi90katana
23 July 2009 @ 06:06 am
Stupid Week...  

Gah. This whole last week has just sucked. Even when something good would happen, it sucked.

Friday: Sup. You no longer have any money whatsoever besides the ten dollars in your wallet. And there ain't nothing you can do about it until the bank opens.

Pi: ;_;

Once the bank did open, I went right down there. For the millionth time I must insist on just how much I love my bank. They had already suspected it was a fradulent charge (hence why they'd tried to call me), so all they'd needed to confirm it was me coming in looking like I was about ready to have a nervous breakdown.

They had me fill out a dispute form and explained everything that would happen. The dispute form would go to the higher up people who would look into the matter. While doing so, my money is temporarily creditted back into my account until they can officially solve the matter. I was told it shouldn't take much longer than one business day or two.

They're also not sure yet if this is actually identity theft or not. I have been warned though to be aware of the possibility.

After handing over my debit card, I went home to sleep. I think I got a half an hour before work.

Upon arriving at work, I was greeted with a tiny one thousand piece truck. Truly a rare thing, you see. We had six people, and for some odd reason, got two other people to help out.

Paul: I get a feeling of impending doom.
Pi: I concur.
Patrick: Wow, you guys are really gloomy. I think this is going to be a great day!
Pi and Paul: We laugh at your optimism.

Halfway through unloading, a grocery truck arrived. Lots of water bottles. Usually when we get water bottles, they come in packages of 12-24 bottles and are wrapped. On top of that, the pallets are wrapped (water pallets can be unstable). These ones came in packs of six, with flimsy trays and no wrapping. One pallet wasn't even shrink wrapped, and on top of that, a heavy pallet of food had been stacked on top.

Paul pulled this pallet off of the truck. As he went over the ramp, the entire thing came down. Paul just barely got out of the way and had I been two feet closer, I would've been smashed by the top pallet. Water went everywhere and despite getting out of the way, Paul still managed to get hurt (we've been told he sprained a tendon or something) and had to go home. He hasn't been back to work since.

Saturday: Yo. Today ain't gonna be much better kid. Turns out there's a lot of disputes going through the system. Your bank alone has two other similar cases. So I'm afraid it's going to be another day without money.

Pi: >.<

There was, thankfully, no truck that day. And Billy bought me M&M's for break and the lady at Subway practically gave me a free meal (I promised to pay up when I had money again, but technically until that point it really was free).

And it still managed to suck. We were given a million things to do and seeing as how there were just five of us (and with Patrick kinda being useless and Donald new, only really three people used to these tasks), it was a long day.

Since Paul was gone, Billy was in charge. He thankfully gave me my favorite of the three tasks (stocking pop and water), but that took me about four hours because that aisle was such a damn mess.

On top of that, the night shift managers didn't give us much respect. They don't like Billy much, so it was a bit of a fight the whole time. I was very happy to go home.

Also- learned that Patrick's roommate (who is very nice) lost about six hundred dollars from his bank account to weight loss drugs that he never paid for. Different banks.

Sunday: Guess what? I don't really count as a business day, so you're still broke. Also? Truck today is 2400 pieces, and you lost all of your hardworking people either to days off, cut hours, or injury. Enjoy.

Pi: T_T

...As said. Only people working that day were Jen, Patrick, Kathy (GRR), Donald, and me. The truck did not get done for a long time. Towards the end, Kathy would go inside the truck to help Patrick throw without permission and without telling anyone, leaving lots of the items she was supposed to take care of filling the line before anyone noticed.

We were all quite tired that night. I used my last two dollars buying myself ramen noodles and goldfish crackers for lunch. But Donald bought me Mike's Hard Lemonade when we got off work, so it was slightly better.

Speaking of Donald? Three hundred dollars vanished from his bank account. He goes to a different bank than me.

Monday: By some stroke of luck, money has been creditted to your account. Jen said last night that there isn't supposed to be a truck tonight either, but don't worry- we'll make sure the shit hits the fan.

Pi: O_o;

Billy gave me a ride to work. He'd just gone to his bank and found a thousand dollars missing.

As you might have guessed, we were beginning to find this very odd. So far all of the people I'm hearing these stories from work at Wal*Mart (Patrick's roommate is a cart pusher). We tried to think of something that had changed recently and thought of something interesting.

You might recall the incident in which Billy could not clock in without his badge because management can't seem to do that anymore. Recently, we all had to make new badges for some reason or another. We're not even allowed to make duplicates if we lose one (and getting them to help make another is a pain in the ass).

Here's the thing about our badges. They each have their own little barcode used for when we swipe in that tells the system that we are (insert name) and that we're reporting for duty at (insert department). One of the other little pieces of information these badges have and which the bar codes directly reflect are our social security numbers.

I... am sensing a connection. But I really hope I'm wrong.

Anyways. We get to work. Billy's new schedule of only working three days a week takes effect now and thus he is sent home. No Paul. And Jen had to take her husband to the doctor.

Just as the four ICS crew members that remain are about to start some little tasks, we discover that tomorrow's truck showed up a day early. And management thought it'd be just dandy if we did it a day ahead of time.

Management: Yes yes- 1800 pieces? Four people? Why, that shouldn't be a problem.
Pi: ...You just sent Billy home. Besides being the strong guy, he's also the only other back-up lead we have.
Management: Really? Well, let's see who's left. My, it seems that by this group, you're next in line as far as hierarchy goes!
Pi: ...I am?
Management: Yup. Here's a walkie. You're in charge.
Pi: O_O;

Yeah. It didn't get done on time either. But really, it shouldn't have been expected. My team consisted of a very slow and often confused Patrick, a very hard to work with and equally slow Kathy, and a super fast but still kinda new Donald. And me. At best I am mediocre, so when I'm the most able person on the crew, you know you have problems.

We did manage to get out of there before nine though, so I take comfort in that.

Kathy made my night a living hell though. She refuses to accept the fact that anyone other than Paul or Jen be placed in charge over her, so she naturally did the exact opposite of everything I asked. And if we were in agreement over her doing something, she took every opportunity to let me know she would've done it even if I had told her not to.

When it came time to do picks, I told her I'd do crafts once I got a cart. Came back with one and was informed that she was going to do them.

By this point, I was fairly pissed off and nearly bit her head off when I told her to do another department. She in turn acted like a petulant child and told me I wasn't the boss.

Pi: Woman, for tonight you are to treat me as if I am.
Kathy: Ha. You aren't a bright one.
Pi: Know what? Go ahead. But if you do crafts, you're doing stationery too.
Kathy: I will no-
Pi: (gets on walkie) Assistant Manager? I got my team on picks now. Donald's doing chemicals, Kathy has stationery and crafts, and I'm doing hardware.
Kathy: ...that's not fair.
Pi: Suck it.

I was pretty damn proud to have gotten the upper hand in that one. That woman is over fifty and makes me feel like I'm dealing with a five-year-old. In all honesty, I was about ready to physically strike her. I have a very short temper, and when people I respect aren't around to stabilize my personality, I have an even shorter fuse. That there was my last ditch effort.

Heheh... I also didn't tell her when we were leaving. Oh well. I know she got the message.

...I have a vivid imaginiation and inclinations towards violent thought. Pumpkin time needs to come sooner on nights like that.

And that was the sucky week. It was accompanied by a fairly bland weekend, in which the icing was put on the suckitude cake when my paid account expired. Gah. I was hoping to have my new debit card in time to buy another year. You get so used to a paid account, you know? The ads are back and everything now. ;_;

Ugh. Some new (and cheap!) Deadpool comics have showed up. I have bills due. And I can't freaking do anything until I get my new debit card to pay for them all. >.<

I don't wanna go to work in the morning... ;_;

.
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2 Fade Into the Night | Strike Hard
 
Pi90katana
17 July 2009 @ 08:13 am
Life, You're A Bastard  

It would seem the word is determined to be a living hell for me this week.

( Work related bullshit )

( Significantly more important identity theft related bullshit )
(deep breaths)

Oh yeah, it's Youtube Friday. Here's a neat One Piece AMV with the Supernovas. The person seems to have just made this for fun, but I really enjoyed it. Cuts off kinda suddenly and there's a small mistake with Zoro's bounty, but other than that it's all good. (goes to find the song used

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Current Mood: stressed
 
12 Fade Into the Night | Strike Hard
 
Pi90katana
15 April 2009 @ 08:41 pm
Who?  

And again I fall behind. Man, I used to write an entry like everyday now. Seems I've become too much of a Youtube junkie to remember it anymore. ^_^;

Can't even recall half the stuff I wanted to mention anymore either. Ah well. Nothing too exciting, I suppose.

Well, I'll take that back. The first fourteen pages of Chapter 17 of MNT: Gaiden are up. Updates for that are always squee worthy. :D Seems like this one's Don-centric, which is really making me anxious. Here's hoping he doesn't kill Leo.

On a side note, I had a weird random thought the other day regarding this comic. As it was made evident in the last chapter, the curse is still hanging around. And for some reason that made me flashback to the prologue. You know- the part where Splinter takes it into himself and Leo has to kill him (;_;).

Here's where the random thought popped up- though Splinter was killed, wouldn't the curse still be in him? I mean, he wasn't completely destroyed- his ashes were there, after all. What if it stayed in those? And then Donatello comes along and gathers them up...

I dunno. Just found that really interesting. :)

Anyways. that aside. Went driving again today. I'm pretty damn sure this was my worst drive to date. It was in town once again, but not in the little subdivisions or anything. Nope- this time I was driving in the busiest intersections in town in rush hour traffic.

Holy shit, I was scared to death. O_O

Worse yet, this was the first time I had to practive changing lanes. I was pretty awful at that, but I think I improved a little towards the end. Nevertheless, it was pretty bad. I was about ready to declare I'd never drive anywhere but to work after that. Hopefully next week will be better.

As for now, I'm kinda just sitting around. My friend is back from the Dominican Republic, and we were thinking about doing something, but she kinda forgot me. I just got a call from her a little while ago, but by now it's a bit too late to do anything. We're thinking about watching a movie in a couple of days though, before I go to work.

Either way, it's left me wondering about myself. I'm beginning to think I'm just a very forgettable person. In real life, friends and family are constantly forgetting about me. Online... well, only a few people I was talking to last year still talk to me regularly. I know they're all much busier now, as am I, but nothing is like how it used to be.

I can recall how last year, even when barely anything would happen that day, I'd still talk to several people. Now it's like even when people come online, few of them are talking to me. Others disappear before I have the chance to say a hello. When I myself initiate the conversation with someone I haven't talked to in a while, it always seems to die fast.

It all just makes me... very confused. I realize people have a lot of other stuff going on in their lives, but it just seems so odd that the majority of them would all so suddenly avoid me like the plague. Thus the current train of thought... there really must be next to nothing worth remembering about me.

I'm attempting to get used to it. Distractions are helpful.
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Current Mood: contemplative
 
11 Fade Into the Night | Strike Hard
 
Pi90katana
07 February 2009 @ 06:20 am
We Now Return To Your Previously Scheduled Suckitude  

The universe seems to have this idea that my life should suck. At a random point, they'll throw me a bone and I'll be happy for a few days, thinking that I might be seeing some glimmers of hope- only to slam me back into reality so hard I make an imprint on the dimension itself.

Yesterday stunk. Was as sore as if it were the end of the week instead of my Monday, plus I had to walk home carrying a bag of cat food in the rain.

Today was worse. Was running late for work and ran out the door to go into the laundry room and get some socks, only to turn back and find I'd locked myself out. 

So. Cell phone was in the house, so I obviously couldn't call anyone. Without even shoes, I tried to find a way to break into my apartment, but had no luck and basically only succeeded in muddying my socks and getting my feel really cold and wet. Being underground makes it tricky to get into windows. I was still trying when my neighbor came home from work, and she let me use her phone to call first a locksmith and then work (to tell them I'd be tardy).

Had a small lucky break, at least. The locksmith was super nice, and was at my apartment two minutes after I made the call. He broke one of his pieces of equipment trying to get in, but he did it in the end. And forty bucks wasn't as bad as I was imagining- plus he showed me a trick for if it ever happens again, which I'm grateful for. 

Was late to work, of course. Unfortunately, due to delays they were only just getting started when I came, and it was a 2000 piece truck. We got it done by lunch, but it was really tough work. Stacked horribly too, to the point where it was dangerous just to unload it. I felt bad for Billy- boxes were hitting him every five minutes.

Stupid life. Just makes me want to hate everything. It either needs to remain on the same level of evil, or cut me some slack on a far more regular basis. 
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Current Mood: angry
 
3 Fade Into the Night | Strike Hard
 
Pi90katana
14 January 2009 @ 05:07 am
Much to Report  

I slept for like ten hours last night. O_O

...It was glorious. XD Ah sleep. How I miss thee.

( Cut for stuff going on in life, random attack of emo, and a call to Aussieland )
And now for the whole point of this entry- I am in a creative mood at the moment. I'm seriously developing my icon skills, and am attempting writing again. However, I kinda fear that in a few days, I'll have had my burst and be done with it. ;_;

To prevent this, I am opening myself up to requests! 

Because if I know someone is expecting something out of me, I'm more apt to push myself to do it, I figure this is a pretty good idea. Got a fic request? Want an icon? I'm officially whoring my creative talents out.

Couple of notes here- I'll take up to three requests a person. You can combine these any way you'd like (three icons, a fic and two icons, two fics, a fic and an icon, etc.). Just to keep things neat and tidy, I even got a little form for you to fill out. Use one for each request, please.

Type: (Icon or fic, obviously)
Fandom: (I'll do TMNT, Avatar, One Piece, and Naruto)
Character(s):
Prompt:
Other:

In that 'Other' spot- that'd be a good spot to tell me if there's something you don't want to see in a fic, or what text you'd like on an icon, what genre you want the story to be, or what scene you'd like the image in the icon to be from, etc. The prompts can be as short or as specific as you'd like.

If you want an icon, please tell me if you want text or not so I don't have to bug you about it. XD

If you ask for a fic, while I read it at times, I don't write slash. And be it slash or het, I don't even do the pr0n. Also, just a little heads up- I've never written anything outside the TMNT fandom. If I get a request for fic other than TMNT, it'll be my first time writing in that fandom. If you request one of these three, I may take a little longer in writing it as I'll be finding my ground. (gulp)

Uh... all that said? Request away!

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Current Mood: sleepy
 
30 Fade Into the Night | Strike Hard
 
Pi90katana
11 December 2008 @ 06:10 am
Tomorrow Remains Foggy  

Did a few things around town today, but pretty much just hung around online after that. My days off go too fast for anything meaningful to happen. Either I feel like I've done too much to relax or I've done nothing and wasted my day. I think this would feel different if I had three days off instead of two, but such is life. My days off will be here again soon, anyways.

...Hopefully. As of tomorrow, my three months will be up. My employers have to either make me a full time worker or let me go. And while most of me is sure they'll keep me, I can't be positive either. Weirder things have happened, after all.

So tomorrow, or today I guess, is D-Day. It leaves me nervous as hell, but I think I'll be okay. Hope I'll be okay.

(tries to get some sleep)
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Current Mood: nervous
 
6 Fade Into the Night | Strike Hard
 
Pi90katana
24 November 2008 @ 03:39 pm
So Not Fair  

Dear God. I'm getting worse. Wasn't to bed until about 8:30 this morning. >.<

I just can't seem to sleep no matter how much I want to. There's too much on my mind, I guess. And I did get a few new weights to the load yesterday. Small they may be to some... but me not so much.

So I didn't get Casey for the TT RP. That's okay, because I was expecting that. I mean, no I haven't seen the other auditioner's piece, but she is one of the most excellent writers we have around, so it just made sense to me that hers would be better than mine. And I did see two of her other auditions, both of which were stunning. If they were even a fraction as good as those, then it makes perfect sense why they'd bpick her over me.

Anyways, so that wasn't the landmine. What was is that I have been asked (along with others) to audition for April.

Yeah... I don't want to go much farther into that. Besides the fact that April is one of the hardest characters to write, there's just a lot of other things that makes me think about and whatnot and now I'm emo again. ;_;

Okay, maybe not exactly emo. XD

And alas, now I must work. We'll be short-handed again. This sucks. >.<
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Current Mood: melancholy
 
3 Fade Into the Night | Strike Hard
 
Pi90katana
17 November 2008 @ 06:00 am
Logic is Broken  

All right, so we did get a truck today. But it was only 1400 pieces. With the six of us, it was easy.

...But I was just in a bad mood the entire time. And I don't know why. I just came in really pissed and wanting to go back home and cry and hide under the covers. Can't do that, of course, so I just endured. Though really, this is just getting annoying now. I want to remain on a steady emotional level, but this is never going to happen.

Anyways, some good did happen. As we were starting, a member of management (not the one from yesterday) came in and apologized to us about yesterday. She did the math and agreed with us in that four people really can't unload a 2400 piece truck in two hours. Made me feel slightly better.

When the truck was done, she and another manager came back. Boy, they seem really guilty. They told us what a great job we did and then bought us ice cream. That was great. And despite the fact that I was still being my Bipolar self at the time, I enjoyed the ice cream. Was a drumstick. Haven't had those in a while.

(sigh) These entries have been so short and filled with empty ramblings lately.
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Current Mood: discontent
 
2 Fade Into the Night | Strike Hard
 
Pi90katana
02 November 2008 @ 01:53 am
Er... Maybe Not  


Last night, I made mention that I honestly couldn't see why management would get rid of me at this point. I think I spoke too soon. Early into the shift, Aaron was called to the Ad Office, and after he returned, they called me. Two of the managers wanted to talk to me, and as soon as the door closed, I pretty much figured that this visit wasn't because I was doing well.

They were nice enough, thankfully. Didn't seem mad at all, and made sure I knew that from the start. They explained this wasn't a coaching, just a heads up. Basically, they're concerned about my productivity in the back room. I'm slow (that's how I put it), and they'd like me to get more done. Especially with the holidays coming up, when there will be more stuff.

I was told that as I'm a temp, this is kind of getting to the point where they need to start considering whether they'd like to keep me or not. They told me that they'd like to see if they can keep me, because I have a good attitude. But a good attitude doesn't get their truck done, sadly. Then they asked if I think that I can speed up, or if there was something that would help me do so.

I started to explain as best as I could, but I didn't get very far until one of them noticed my gloves (which have wrist guards) and that I have my feet wrapped. So then I had to explain why I where those, and now they're thinking maybe ICS is too difficult for me. Normally, they don't switch people so early. Especially when they don't seem to be doing well in the area they're at now. Nevertheless, they asked me to go work in HBA today instead. They needed one of us down there anyways, since all of the people who usually work there weren't there today. They asked me to see what I thought of it and tell them tomorrow.

...I don't think I like HBA. All there was was two carts of stuff they hadn't been able to get to the day before, but it seemed to take forever. Yes, that isn't where I usually work, so I didn't know where things were. But even then it still seemed to take so long to find where to put things. And there were so many stolen packages, and someone broke a shampoo bottle and it was getting all over the toothpaste... To be honest, I think standing around there hurt my feet more than working in the back room.

Around midnight, I returned to help wit the sweeping and everything. I guess the night time managers weren't told that I was asked to work in HBA instead for the day. I thought about asking if I'm really so slow of a worker that what I manage to do isn't good enough to keep me there, but I decided not to. Just thinking about it was stressing enough; I'd have made a fool of myself if I attempted to bring up.

When I was walking out, Glenn caught up to me with his car. Guess he'd planned to give me a ride but had forgotten. The guy's too damn perceptive. He asked if something was wrong, and even though I said it was all right, he asked if I was upset about what management had told me.

I wish he hadn't asked. Because then I had to provide some sort of answer, and like I thought, it just made things worse. I tried not to, but I ended up crying. And even though I did my best to hide it, I know he could tell. Couldn't keep my voice from cracking.

Now that I'm home, I can't stop. And I don't know why. It's not like they're mad at me. And they said so themselves that this wasn't a coaching or anything. I have a tendency to overthink things, and all that's going through my head is that come mid-December, I won't have a job anymore.

I'd do just about anything to keep this job. But I wish I could stay in the back. I don't want to work in HBA, but I think that's the only stocking position open. I doubt they'd make me a cashier or a people greeter. I just want to stay where I am...

I don't think it's going to happen, though.

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Current Mood: worried
 
3 Fade Into the Night | Strike Hard
 
Pi90katana
30 October 2008 @ 01:57 pm
Panic  

I have no freaking clue what to do. Yes, my deposit has been verified. But can I pay my bill? Nope.

I was going to pay with my debit card, but that apparently takes four business days... and the bill is due tomorrow. So then I thought to go ahead and pay with an online check. Got my account set up and everything. But can I do that? Nope. The site can't verify my identity, even though I have all of the freaking information right there.

Why yes, I am panicing. I want to curl up into a little ball right now and cry. But adults don't do that, do they? 
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Current Mood: stressed
 
5 Fade Into the Night | Strike Hard
 
Pi90katana
17 October 2008 @ 04:03 am
Can I Use My Discount Card on the Social Security Tax?  

Picked up my paycheck today. Not only did I work the full eighty hours this time, I got overtime too (Mr. Manager? I thought you said this wouldn't be a problem? XD).

So it was rather... disappointing to see what the numbers added up to.

Me: (last week) Well, I only worked seventy hours this time, so my next paycheck should be much higher! When I've actually worked all of my hours! ^_^

Me: (today) (compares paycheck) So... let me get this straight. I worked like eleven more hours than I did in the last pay period... and I only end up with like fifty more dollars than what I had last time? O.o ...That sucks.

>.< Stupid taxes.

Of my pathetic four hundred and seventy two dollars, I spent one hundred fifty on groceries today. Didn't even have time for clothes, which I desperately need for work. I'm finding holes in the jeans I like to wear. Also, toilet bowl cleaner spilled on my shirt today and turned it brown, so I think it'd be a good idea to get more shirts (even though a manager was nice enough to replace it for me). I figure by the time I'm done paying for those and sending my mom money for the net bill, I'll have enough money to keep buying myself some lunch everyday until the next paycheck comes.

(sigh) This is one thing I definitely do not like about living on my own. I don't enjoy worrying over bills and money and stuff. I like getting myself a little DVD now and then, but I don't particularily enjoy spending money. When I'd get some, I was usually able to make it last awhile. So if I didn't have to worry about all of the necessities of living, I'd probably have like a thousand dollars by now. Or close to it.

(wants moniez back)

And this isn't the only thing I have to worry about. My mom left an answer for me on the phone saying that the doctor who saw me a month ago would like to schedule another appointment. And while I'd love to do this, I'm worried what will happen if I have to pay anything. We didn't last time, but I don't know if we would now. I don't think I could afford it.

However, the wise decision would be to go while I still have insurance. That runs out in like five months, and then I know I'll have to pay for any future medical visits. Also, when I got home tonight, I discovered I'm bleeding again, and not just on the tissue paper this time. So I guess I don't really have any other option but to go back.

I wish money wasn't so important. I don't like worrying about it like this.

But this just reinforces why I so badly need to have a job that pays me as much as I'm getting now. I'd be screwed if I made any less, I think.

I can do this. I mean, it seems to get easier the more I do, besides the abundance of new bruises I'm finding, as well as the given aches and pains of performing the job. My feet don't hurt quite as badly any more, and I'm pretty damn sure I've lost weight (which is certainly a plus ^_^). My co-workers can be assholes at times, but they're entertaining and helpful the other half of the time, so it balances.

It's just a bit stressful. I don't like that I have to work myself like crazy just to stay alive, you know? And I don't get to see anyone anymore, so it gets really lonely. I'd love to call someone, but everyone sleeps when I'm awake and vice versa. So it's always just me now. And I'm afraid I don't have many answers to any of my questions.

(grabs blanket) I'm going to bed and sleeping in tomorrow. Sleeping is something I still like.

Here's a meme I stole from [info]half_elven.

The problem with LJ: we all think we are so close, but really, we know nothing about each other.

So I want you to ask me something you think you should know about me. Something that should be obvious, but you have no idea about.

Ask away.

Then post this in your LJ and find out what people don't know about you!
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Current Mood: stressed
 
9 Fade Into the Night | Strike Hard
 
Pi90katana
16 October 2008 @ 04:13 am
I Has Mad Skillz  


My home is no longer sitting at fifty-seven degrees. Hyess... XD

The heat kinda lingers more around the living room, but I figure it'll get to the bedroom soon enough. I mean, it is warmer in here too, but not as warm as it is just one room over. I figure by the weekend, things will be better.

And how did my problem with my heater become resolved? Simple, my dear readers! I am made of awesomesauce.

XD Okay, so that only played a small role. What happened is I'd gone into the laundry room to look for something and while I was in there, I noticed the brake box. After climbing up onto the washing machine, I was able to reach it and when I opened it up, the problem became obvious. The switch for the heat was turned to off instead of on. Flipped that over and now I has heat! Yayz! :D

It is a rather noisy heater, though. That's not as cool. But I'll take it if it means I don't freeze to death.

Hmm... besides that, I did the dishes and watched some television shows I'd taped while I was at work. Read some TT!RP and then worked on the Fanfiction certificates. They're all done now! Finally! I'm going to start sending them to people now. If I know you, you'll likely get them from AIM or I'll contact you for a preferred sending method. Everyone else I plan to look up email addresses for, and those whom I can't find I'll try to contact. If I still have no luck, I'll leave a message up at SS or FF.net telling them to PM me or something if they'd like their awards.

So yes! Victory! Huzzah!

Little Voice in Pi's Head: You know... in the hours you took doing that, you likely could've finished setting up everything in your house.

.... (ignores voice)

Gah. Probably should've gone to bed sooner too. Gotta get up early and pick up my check and do some grocery shopping. It's so weird- I feel like all I'm doing anymore is sleeping and working. The days are going by so much quicker now. My stepdad used to talk about this all the time and now I kinda understand what he means.

(sigh) I wish I didn't have to work so much. It'd be nice to have a part-time job, but I realized I'd have to make like nine dollars an hour to match my current pay rate that way. And besides not really hiring, I don't think anyone offers that much to someone like me. I've heard about a part-time position at the Library (for less than what I make now), and one at a Daycare (that matches my pay but with much fewer hours). Be nice to consider them, but I don't think I could pay all of the bills on that. I mean, besides what I put in the bank, I went broke on Monday. It's a good thing the next two days I had off otherwise I wouldn't have even been able to feed myself at work.

I'll keep looking, but I don't think I'll find anyone who can match or beat my pay as it is now. And as that's a necessity to just keeping me alive, it's kind of an important detail in a new search.

 

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Current Mood: contemplative
 
1 Fade Into the Night | Strike Hard
 
Pi90katana
24 September 2008 @ 04:10 am
Pathetic  
I've reached the frayed end of my rope here. Excitement turns into anxiety and that leads to a small break down. I've been packing for nearly twenty-four hours and am still nowhere near ready. I don't really have that much stuff, but what I do have is seriously starting to pile up. And I don't know where to put it, or how to fit it, and it's just driving me insane.

I took one break to eat and that was it. I skipped both breakfast and dinner because I thought I would be done 'soon' and could eat then.

Now it's just past four in the morning and this is where I break down. I'm tired and hungry and worried about finishing up here so I can get my stuff to my apartment tomorrow. And then worried that it will take too long and I won't have groceries and won't be able to eat when I come home for the night. And then worried that I'll be to worn out to do good at work tomorrow, and considering whether or not I should call in. But I can't do that so soon- I'm still trying to do good at my job and I just started! What kind of impression does that make?

My stepdad came in a little while ago and barked at me. He said to go to bed so I am. Hopefully things won't seem so complicated when I wake up.
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Current Mood: anxious
 
3 Fade Into the Night | Strike Hard
 
Pi90katana
18 September 2008 @ 12:47 pm
And This Is Where I Start to Panic  

Wednesdays, I found out, are the most awesome day of work. They don't get a general merchandise truck in on that day, so there's not much to do. There was only one other guy on my shift that day even, and he showed me what to do on those days.

We sorted out candy and stuff onto pallets (took like thirty minutes) and then we straightened and filled up the gaps in the pop and water aisle. Reorganized the shelves for said items in the back. Pulled a few pallets to dairy and then took our lunch break.

When we got back, we continued to organize. Then the grocery truck came (early, I guess), and we pulled those pallets to where they were supposed to go. After that, we cleared out the back room and pulled a few more things out onto the floor that needed to go. And then we started to clean. Really... we were done just before my last break. O.o

My feet were hurting me again by that point. I don't think I hurt as badly as the first day, but it was enough that it was starting to slow me down. It's weird- I kinda start walking on my toes when that happens. I have no clue why.

When I got back, I tried to help out around the store. Did a little in women's apparel, but no one else really needed me. At midnight, though, there was pizza and candy. Mmm... was good. :D

I was about to go back out when I was done eating when the assistant manager I work with in the back said since ICS was done, he talked to the manager and he said it was okay to go home early.

At first I was really excited, but it's starting to worry me. For no real reason, either. I'm just starting to wonder if maybe I'm not doing a good job. I hope I am. 'Cause I mean, what if I get fired and can't pay my rent, and whatnot? It took so long just to get this job- what if I can't find another? It just really has me freaking out. ;_;

This is about the time in my life where usually someone would jump out and say 'Fooled ya!' before tearing everything awesome that's been built up down.
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Current Mood: restless
 
9 Fade Into the Night | Strike Hard
 
Pi90katana
27 August 2008 @ 10:24 pm
Empty  
Today has been... odd. It's just left me drained.

Earlier today, I did get a call from the first temp agency I applied to. But it was really weird. A recorded message- and it went so fast I couldn't really understand what I was being told. The gist of it is that there's a job available. And while I was told what it was, I didn't have enough time to porcess it, so I actually don't know. Figures that the one thing I did hear was the pay- $9.50 an hour. When it finished, I was told to press '1' if I was interested and '2' if I wasn't. A job's a job, so I took the first option. Then the recording thanked me and said bye. 

I don't think I'll hear back about it, to be honest. It just seems unlikely. But who knows.

Anyways, as for the rest of the day, it was mainly filled with stomach pains, bloody bathroom visits, and chores. Not much time for writing.

And then tonight... my parents and I had a talk. It wasn't really bad, to be honest. I just hate these discussions because they take so much out of me. They wanted to know what my exit plan is. And as we all know, it's quite fucked up. I can't drive, no steady source of income, and no idea where I'll live once they're gone. I'm gonna call grandma tomorrow and see if maybe she can give me an answer to that last one. 

To get back to the point, my parents told me that I need to know what I'm going to do by the time they leave. This means I need a place to stay and a job. If I don't have these two things... it sounds like I'll be moving with them whether I like it or not. And really, I'm not in much of a place to argue. I have no ground to stand on in such a debate.

They asked me what I wanted. I said I just want to be alone... I'm so tired of people. When I was asked if I'm happy with the way I am, I said I usually am until people make me feel bad about it. It's the truth- I enjoy just hanging around the house for the most part. I like using my computer and I like going to see a movie every once in a while. I like going to Wal*Mart, despite how crappy they've been to me lately. It's simple, and for now, that's good for me.

My stepdad said that's why they find it so hard to relate to me. Neither one of them has ever been happy with the minimum. They've always wanted more and wanted better. Whereas I'm fine for the most part just sticking to what I know. Yes, there are things I would like to be better- I'd like a steadier job, for one, and maybe do a little travel. After that, I don't really care. Maybe I will someday, but right now I don't.

I think he was being sarcastic, but my stepdad asked if I'd just like for them to find me a place and give me a few month's rent and then go. I said yes. That'd be great actually. As to their question of what I'd do when the money's gone... Well, yes I am stupid. I said I'd be looking for a job before that and that I'm sure something would work out. Ya know- when that hasn't happened for a year.

To be honest? I think I'm destined to do very little with my life and die young. I just don't see much for me. I'm nothing special and don't aspire to be anymore. Any people I meet in real life either end up hating me or me hating them, so I doubt I'll have much of a future family to live for. I don't know if I'm okay with it, but I'm not totally crushed. Resigned, I suppose would be the word. 

Anyways, I don't think I'll have that chapter for Cork up tomorrow. I'm gonna work on it yet again, but it doesn't look promising.

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Current Mood: numb
 
26 Fade Into the Night | Strike Hard
 
Pi90katana
26 August 2008 @ 11:14 pm
Procrastination Is I  
Gah! I have no idea if I'm going to be able to finish this by Thursaday! (headdesk)

I just keep on procrastinating and procrastinating... I've literally sat in front of a blank word document for an hour, just trying to continue. And nothing comes. It's madness.

I'm going to try again tonight. I know I keep saying that, but I got to get back to this. 

Anyways, outside of writing, life still isn't going so well. I was turned down at that burger joint, and I'm still getting nothing from Wal*Mart. I applied at three different temp agenices and the post office today as well. God, I just want someone to hire me. I once pulled weeds for two months at a penny per weed- I ain't picky here! 

I'm beginning to get the feeling that I'll never have a real job. I mean, they're closing DHL in two months, so that's a few more thousand into the unemployed batch we got going on here. And I'm betting that any of those people will get hired before me. The few that are hiring want people with experience, and I just don't have enough. This really sucks.
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Current Mood: disappointed
 
5 Fade Into the Night | Strike Hard
 
Pi90katana
21 August 2008 @ 09:25 pm
I Thought Adults Had Choices?  
At least there was some amusement today. Once I spewed my fury at the Video Thief, it actually got a bit fun. The entire lynch mob was out, and now the coward has either deleted or privated over fifteen videos. Though once you consider that there are one hundred and fifty more of them, it's clear we still have work to do. I know quite a few of them are mini-eps and random episodes of NT and Next Mutation. Those I can care less about, as well as some of his vids with the stills. Those are his. 

Nearly everything else is questionable. What's worse is when confronted, he blames this on a 'six-year-old cousin'. That cousin, by the way, is sometimes confused as his brother depending on who he's writing to. Moron can't keep his stories straight. Low-life.

I was horribly disappointed though! Everyone gets their own individual letter of crappery ranging from an apology to a 'you should go strait to hell', but me? Noez! I is not worthy! XD

Anyways, amusement was short-lived. Getting more crap from my parents, among other things. Oh, and apparently I'm going camping in two weeks. With my grandparents, siblings, and some other people. Yeah... doesn't sound interesting to me. If it were just my grandparents it would be cool. But everyone else is more apt to make me want to load my iPod with emo music and listen to it under a tree until the battery dies. It might not have been so bad if it were just my siblings coming along too, even if that's a diasaster in itself (relaxing for me means getting away from them). But with all those people- yeah. Don't. Like it. 

I thought that once you reached the proverbial age of eighteen, you got a little more freedom in what you did with your life? I mean, I understand that I need to do a good majority of what my parents tell me as long as I'm living with them. But if I don't want to go camping... Um, then why the hell do I have to?

Whilst we're on our lovely getaway, they're going to go up to McCall. I kinda get the message there- they want some time to themselves too. Even if I'd prefer to go there then... wherever we end up... It's not like I'd barge in on them. I'm actually perfectly content with staying home. Will that happen? I doubt it.

Gah. Being with people. Do they have a 'Social Interactions for Dummies' book, by chance? XD
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Current Mood: irritated
 
2 Fade Into the Night | Strike Hard
 
Pi90katana
31 July 2008 @ 11:44 pm
Oooh.... It's Teh Foo-tra  

Heheh... Yeah, I know I said I'd be back with pictures of my collection. But we ran into some troubles.... Namely that I refuse to take said picture when my NECA Raph had a broken sai ;_;. I was trying to move it, and the handle broke off. But my stepdad is going to epoxy it for me soon.

Wal*Mart actually surprised me today. I got my Avatar DVD around ten in the morning. Look! They're not made of fail! XD

My family and I were a bit busy today, so we really couldn't watch it all. When we came back from Bookstudy though, we watched The Southern Raiders and The Ember Island Players. Cartoons do what very few other things can do for my family- be happy around each other while having a good time. Can't wait to watch the finale on the nice TV we have. ^_^

Well, things are still are still up in the air in regardsto whether or not they're moving. My stepdad isn't optimistic- says he thinks that guy is shopping around or something. If they do go, now it seems they won't be leaving until October.

Why October? Well, for our religion, we have two circuit assemblies and one district convention each year. They're all held in various places, but it just so happens that where our circuit usually meats for the assembly is in Idaho, so we don't travel far for those. There's one in May and one in October. At all of these events, there's usually a handful of people who get baptized. I've seen three of my younger cousins get baptized at one or the other, and now my sister has expressed desire to do so as well. My stepdad would like her to do it here in Idaho where so many of our family are. 

A part of me is happy. After all, this gives me more time to get my life together and all. But another side of me is just sighing and going back to that envious sibling routine.

For this sister has been a thorn in my side for a long time. I can remember when I was six and mom was pregnant, and I came out crying because I thought that once the baby was born, everyone would love it more than me. And though I was promised that wouldn't be the case, it sure seemed like it. Everyone loved that kid- she's get passed around the Kingdom Hall and people would feed her at gatherings. I didn't really mind thugh until she got a little older.

I didn't start hating her in that sibling sort of way until she was one and I was seven. Mom had taken us grocery shopping and we had just gotten home. Back then, our car was a bit old. The backseat doors would get stuck a lot, so someone would always have to open mine for me for me to get out. Mom came and got the baby and said she'd be back for me. I waited for over an hour in that car and no one came. 

Luckily, it was only Spring, so it wasn't like I was cooking. It was warm though, and I was getting annoyed with being in the car. I couldn't get out the passenger door because it wouldn't open far enough in that little garage. And I couldn't get the lock to the driver's door up with my fingers. So after sulking for a bit, I figured out I could roll down the windows and I climbed out through there.

I was so not happy when I got in there and found my mother and the baby playing. Mom had forgotten me- she thought I was outside playing. I yelled at her and screamed and was furious for most of the day. Partly at mom, but mostly at the baby. Because my mother remembered her... just not me.

Why do I tell you this story? Well, from this point on I couldn't stand my sister for the most part. She was cute, I wasn't all that much anymore. She was sweet and I could be a brat. She had both of her parents, and I kept on having to go back and forth.

As we got older, more things just came up. She got all of the attention. When my brother was born, he loved her more, even though I'd been the one to want a brother. She'd get noticed more for her hobbies while no one seemed to care about mine.

And she has a genuine drive for things concerning our religion. Whereas I just barely manage to hold on to what little willpower I have to continue with it.

It's not that I don't like being a Jehovah's Witness- because I actually do quite a bit. It's just I don't care much for religious practices. They don't interest me, even if I want them to. Talking to people about it makes me nervous, because I don't really care if they know. Studying confuses me, because these are concepts I'm just not in to. And once my dad got disfellowshipped for doing something wrong, I didn't want to get baptized anymore. Not if it meant it could happen to me if I did something wrong myself. Not that I thought I would... I just didn't want there to be a way for it to happen.

Over the years, that fear has gone. But I still have been reluctant to get baptized. Even though my stepdad pushes me, and other members of my family would pester me, I don't think I'm ready. Getting baptized means dedicating one's life to God, and I'm not ready to make that comittment. I love Jehovah... so I feel like if I decided not to follow his teachings, I'd be betraying him far worse after getting baptized than I would by staying where I am.

Yet here my sister is, with this noble goal. And I should be proud, because this is a good thing. But I don't like it at all. Petty envy has always plagued me in matters concerning her. Blinded by it, all I can see is The Golden Child doing something else to pride in her and shame in me. 

At least I have until October though.

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Current Mood: angry
 
10 Fade Into the Night | Strike Hard
 
Pi90katana
28 July 2008 @ 11:02 pm
Irony  
Had to do a lot of work around the house once again today. It sounds like my stepdad wants to short sale our house, so we've been seriously cleaning it. I had to rearrange all the contents of the pantry. God! My mom buys all of this stuff she won't let us have, but then half of what I pulled out today was expired! Like, there were things that went bad in 2005! O.O

I had to get rid of a lot of it. Some of the baking stuff (she has tons of brownie/cake mixes) I got away with keeping. And when I say I got away with it, I do mean me. Because some of this stuff has been in there for months without being touched, so I may as well use it. Took some of her drinks too- the ones that expire in a few weeks.

(has many snacks now)

So, I have recieved an assignment in Writer's Block Therapy for Cork. I'll be working on it very soon. I also found my notes on it! Yay!

While I'm working on it, I think I'll take a break from sentences. And after that, I should probably move back to the Casey audition. (nod)

Part way through the chat though, I heard from a friend of mine. I find it incredibly sweet sometimes. At other points, he can get to me, though it's rare.

There's this boy I know whom I'm pretty sure has a crush on me. Normally, this would enthrall me of course. Sadly, however, he's six years younger than I am. >.<

We get along pretty well in a buddy relationship. He's actually quite mature for his age, in that I don't have to worry about 'bad words' or other random things you normally have to hide from kids. We can tell dirty jokes (when his 'all you need is love' mother isn't around), and talk about cartoons and stuff. All sorts of things. I don't see him as often anymore- normally, we'd see each other at the Kingdom Hall (or church), but then they went to another one.

About two years ago, I started getting the impression that he had a crush on me. He'd hang around me more than the boys in the congregation. We'd joke a lot more, he'd give me presents. Also... he's like the only guy I've ever met (not related to me) who's ever noted my appearance. Good and the bad, of course, but hey- he's twelve.

Anyways, so I haven't gotten to hang out with him in a while. But today, as I was chatting with peoples, I got a phone call from him. He was at his grandmother's, playing the Ubisoft TMNT game. It was so cute- he said it made him think of me. We spent like the next half hour talking about the game. I gave him a lot of cheats and stuff.

He's a good kid. Damn, I wish he were my age. Because no one's ever treated me like that. I just find it so ironic (in a humorous way and sad one) that when someone actually does, he's as young as some of my siblings. >.<
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Current Mood: restless
 
Strike Hard
 
Pi90katana
16 July 2008 @ 11:52 pm
Lost My Chill Pills  

Sometimes I wonder if I have any right to be stressed like I am. I mean, I suppose I have it pretty easy compared to some people, you know?

(sigh) 

Well, I'm starting to think I'm going to need another job. Because I mean... fifty bucks a week isn't going to help me, you know? My job pays well when you do work. I can't get as many appointments as most people, so I'm getting only a little bit. Jeez... if it paid bad I'd be screwed right now. And I still haven't gotten my base pay. 

I just hope I can find somewhere. I applied at Wal*Mart again. Maybe now that I have some small work experience I can get somewhere?

Really, that living under a bridge idea I used to entertain so much is looking better and better. If it weren't for the fact that I'm addicted to my computer I'd do it.

Gah. I'll come back with a more cheerful post later.

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Current Mood: apathetic
 
2 Fade Into the Night | Strike Hard